She is me a billion times over, since this diagnosis! Just want to scream at the world to possibly get the answers I so desperately need! But life goes on....Crying is for suckas!
I've maybe said 1000 times, "this is gonna be the last show, or this is it for now!" Then another opportunity arises and I'm back contemplating whether I can handle a show or not.
At this point in the whole "band idea" for me, it has pretty much gone to shreds. Not to be thought of in a negative light, but more so in a "I've grown apart from people or outgrown cities that I set goals for and exceeded in no time" and that's just that! But I can't help to think, should I be thinking this way. With new cities and new people means recreating and reteaching folks how YOU want your sound to be, and if you're a perfectionist in any way possible, you certainly understand the
To work so hard, to start from nothing, to build from the ground up, to make a name for yourself, to set goals and boundaries simply for yourself, that no one else can take credit for, unless they're that much of hater, and afraid to give you your props! (WE all have seen that be a reality, in more ways than we'd like)....it's something man!
I have enjoyed the last decade of singing, learning, performing, elevating, firing, moving on, letting go, revamping, helping and watching individuals reach their heights, all while seeing others rot in complacency, that deserve to be bigger and further than they are. One day they'll get it! One day!...
It's a time! Truly...
I've got one more show on October 19th, full of original music, right before surgery on the 21st. I can't wait to just be in that space and moment one more time before my life changes forever.
To each is own. I just pray that despite obstacles, vocal polyps and surgeries fall outs or start overs, that everyone is able to always reach their fullest potential, without having to steal, fake or degrade anyone of their talents to reach it.
Peace.
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